3

Sun, 21 Dec 2008 18:07:49 -0600

As far as vices go, for a long while, I was unnecessarily obsessed with the number three. It wouldn’t go away. It popped up all the time, in everything I read and everything I wrote. Complicating this matter was the issue of whether or not it was actually there. I began to see threes where none existed. (This became especially interesting when I began to see triplet groupings in stuff that I wrote where there actually was nothing.) Without going into too many details, it’s enough for you to know that I had to consciously enforce a denial of threes in order to break myself of the habit. This method is standard practice with me when it comes to obsessive-compulsive behaviors like counting the letters in advertisements and billboards. It requires intense concentration and some of the greatest executions of will power I’ve ever performed.
Today, however, I’m planing on relapsing. In fact, I am in the process of it right now.
You see, today marks the third anniversary of my marriage to Laura Kate Blaylock. (This remains her legal name, although on occasion she uses my last name to prevent confusion.)
Three years ago, we were married in the Mesa Temple in Mesa, Arizona. And right here is where I’m supposed to say that I’ve loved every minute of it. But that would be untrue.
As with any relationship, Kate and I have had our ups and downs. Sometimes we get along better than other times. We’ve had a lot to learn about living together and communicating with each other. We had dated for almost two years (on and off) before we got married and we thought we knew each other pretty well. However, over the past three years, we’ve had quite a few little surprises along the way. And, although both of us usually react in the same distasteful manner at popular depictions of stereotypical marital problems and their men-are-from-mars-and-women-from-venus paradoxism (“Women, you can’t live with them…Pass the beer nuts.”—You know, that kind of thing), if I’m being honest, I do often forget to put the toilet seat down. And there are certainly plenty of other things that I forget to do.
Still, I have no reason to complain. In fact, I have every reason to do exactly the opposite, which in my opinion means to be grateful.
Kate understand me and my quirks better than I understand myself. And the really annoying thing about that is that no matter how I try to improve my own self-awareness, she continues to learn about me at a much faster pace than I learn about me. Not only does this mean that when we have disagreements or I’m just acting either dehydrated or ornery, she knows how to convince me of my own irrationality, but she can simultaneously teach me how I could have avoided the situation in the first place.
In short (and I have to be short because I’m already six minutes late), Kate sees the big picture in so many ways beyond what I am even capable of imagining. She doesn’t just believe I’m capable, she knows I’m capable, and doesn’t accept it when I underperform. But (and this is perhaps the most amazing part), she doesn’t demand a level of performance above my current ability. She recognizes that I am learning and growing and that together we can and will make each other better.
Although that has been something a bit difficult for me to understand, and I am sure that I will continue to have lapses of judgement from time to time. What I know, is that Kate will always be there to forgive and encourage, to uplift and strengthen my resolve. That is what you do for a best friend, right.
And, although it is certainly a remarkable experience to be in love (so many poets have tried and succeeded to describe love that it almost becomes unnecessary to actually experience love), I feel that it is a much more unique and special an experience to have a true and faithful best friend. This type of friendship is not the kind that you buy BFF bracelets for or get matching tattoos. It’s the kind you get from trying to make the other persons life as happy and rewarding as possible, often times at a significant personal sacrifice.
For this reason alone, I count myself blessed and happy. It’s great to be in love and I am. But, it is better to love a best friend and to be loved by a best friend. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about.
Three years feels great, but it’s not nearly enough time. Four will be better...

Armpits

Sun, 21 Sep 2008 21:52:09 -0500

It’s been far too long, but I don’t think anyone reads this anyway, so I don’t really care.
I’ve been exceptionally busy lately. For those of you who are unaware, I have recently begun an MFA program in Creative Writing. It’s a bilingual program offered online through the University of Texas, El Paso, so I am able to continue working as a teacher at NWAAFA and work on my master’s degree at the same time. Sort of...
So far, it has turned out to be quite a bit more time-consuming then I thought it would be. However, I am still surviving...somehow.
In addition to my regular job and grad school, I also started writing content for a Grammy Award-winning band on a weekly basis, and so that keeps me pretty busy during any downtime that I would have.
Kate and I have had family (Grandma and Grandpa J) or friends (Ruth and The Deschamps) staying with us for the last two and a At Andy’s Frozen Custard with Elle Deschamphalf months and we’re finally getting some time back to ourselves. Still, it’s not quite enough, and so we’ve decided to go to Walt Disney World in March to celebrate us. We are, of course, looking forward to this break.
On the plus side, I recently purchased this new MacBook to help me with Grad School, my web-writing, and writing in general; and Kate and I recently got iPhones and can now communicate with others in a more timely and efficient fashion. Plus, I can carry Shakespeare, the Constitution, 1900 songs, several video games, a portable music studio, the internet and many other less significant (but still cool) items with me wherever I go. (Go iPhone!)
This brings me to the title of this Blog. When i worked for Provo Canyon School, the therapist I worked with used to say this whenever one of the boys we worked with couldn’t adequately account for his failure to do something or to abide by the rules--”Excuses are like armpits. Everybody has them and they all stink.” So be it. As you can see, I have a number of excuses for not updating my blog recently, but I shall do my best to find the time here and there to update.
Also, the library link will be updated, thanks to Delicious Library 2.0, to include books that I currently am reading/trying to read.
In the future I hope to offer much more thought-provoking content than just excuses.

Delicious Library

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 04:20:22 -0500

Delicious Library 2 was released a few weeks ago. I’d been waiting for it since I first heard about it in February. It’s finally here and it’s awesome. But I’m a nerd who likes knowing about all the stuff I have and where it is and who I loaned it to.
It keeps track of your books, music, movies, video games, tools apparel, gadgets, toys, software and delinquent friends. All of this with outstanding integration with Mac OS X Leopard technologies. And you can upload your libraries to iWeb or other website. Now you can show your friends how much more literate you are then them.
I have added a Library section to my site that is an example of the books populating my bookshelves. Eventually I plan on setting them up in the actual order they appear on my shelves. (So, I won’t have to redo my preferred sorting from scratch every time we move bookshelves around. That actually happens a lot.)

The Socratic Dilemma, part. 2

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 02:52:20 -0500

It has been an unforgivable amount of time since my last Blog entry and while I feel I have a decent excuse--I teach HS and we just finished our first school year and that required lots of my time and energy and diplomatic skills and chagrin and since I teach Seniors, a fair amount of guilt in sending HS graduates out into the real world unprepared to critically think about the increasingly complex and problematically prescriptive society we live in--I still should have gotten to this continuation on The Socratic Dilemma.
However, my difficulties and responsibilities of the past month, to a certain extent, underscore this very dilemma of which I speak.
During the past month I finally finished the final 80 pages of Thomas Mann’s Confessions of Felix Krull, Confidence Man: The Early Years. Mann is my favorite and this was his final book, and it was never finished--hence, The Early Years. It took me a few years to finish the book, although to be fair, I’ve finished at least a dozen books during that same time and started at least a dozen more. That’s how I roll.
Lest I be considered boastful, let me add this caveat: over the past month I only read those last 80 pages. Instead, I have wasted much of the little free time I’ve had on mindless TV, Mariokart Wii, more than mindless internet browsing, fantasizing about finally buying an iPhone this July, Warcraft III (for the fourth time), Battlezone II (2nd time), more hyper-mindless internet browsing, pretending to learn meaningful information from Wikipedia and watching Band of Brothers twice. Bottom line, I’ve done little, arguably apart from BoB, to expand my mental capacities and you know, try and make the world a better place.
I started reading Proust and the Squid by Maryanne Wolf sometime around Christmas last year. Not finished yet, but I’m more than two thirds of the way done. The book discusses the origin of reading and how our brains learned to read.
I find it fascinating. No part of the brain is used exclusively for reading. And English, Chinese and Japanese readers use vastly different areas of the brain when they read. Some of the technical speak is a bit difficult to trudge through, but so far, I have found the book enormously rewarding and informative.
Now, what relevance does this have to my post? Well, in the book, Maryanne Wolf discusses the history reading and mentions some of the reactions of a few of the world’s greatest minds to the idea of reading. A passage from Proust about reading provides half of the book’s title. Perhaps more significant, however, is her discussion about Socrates’ reaction to the written word.
A very brief history lesson. Socrates did not write, in fact he probably was not literate, for moral reasons. All we have of Socrates’ teachings come from Plato’s writings. And Plato apparently wrote down a few of Socrates’ arguments against writing and reading. Wolf highlights a few of them.
“Ultimately, Socrates did not fear reading. He feared superfluity of knowledge and its corollary--superficial understanding...As Socrates put it, ‘Once a thing is put into writing, the composition, whatever it may be, drifts all over the place, getting into the hands of not only of those who understand it, but equally of those who have no business with it; it doesn’t know how to address the right people, and not address the wrong.’”
I’ll draw your attention again to the source of the above image. Wikipedia is not only available to everyone, but it can be edited by anyone. So, not only is free, superficial and defenseless information available to anyone desiring instant informational gratification, but it can also be edited by any superficially endowed “expert.”
Information is available to anyone, anywhere at any time. But does the over abundance of information do us greater harm than good. With only a few mouse clicks we can become so overly stimulated that we cannot possibly process the information we cram into our brains and the danger becomes that instead of analyzing the information, we simply accept it as true without regard for source or method of acquisition.
This is a serious problem in the public school system. So many state and federal requirements must be met that teachers very often resort to teaching to the test rather than teaching students how to process information themselves. This was a problem I faced as a HS student and now face as a HS teacher. (Hell, I’ll even go out on an extremely unpopular limb and say that it’s a problem in colleges and universities, too.) So much of what is taught has become dogmatic absolutes, without so much of an explanation as to how the observed results were obtained or can be obtained again. Instead, opinions are presented as fact. Yes, we are all entitled to our opinions, but that doesn’t mean we are not wrong.
I’ve gone on for far too long, so I will leave you with one final quote from Maryanne Wolf. “Is the likelihood of assuming we understand the truth or reality of a thing even if we see it visually depicted in a photograph, film, or video or on ‘reality TV?’ How would Socrates respond to a filmed version of a Socratic dialogue, to his entry in Wikipedia, or to a screen clip on Youtube?”

More later, probably...

Kafka would be Proud?

Wed, 14 May 2008 13:16:22 -0500

I like books.
I like music.
About two years ago, I was sitting in the Anchorage airport during a five hour layover, listening to music and enjoying the free wireless internet. I had just finished reading The Stranger by Albert Camus. Some song by the Cure came on and for some reason, I was teleported back in time some ten years or so.
Almost as if I was experiencing it all over again, I was browsing in a record store, feeding my addiction, when I came across the Cure’s Staring at the Sea. As I looked at the tracklist, I noticed the first song, “Killing an Arab.” There was a sticker on the cellophane upon which an explanation of the song’s name was given. No, the Cure were not racist, nor did they condone Arab killing nor any other killing. The song was based upon The Stranger”.
I was instantly transported back to the Anchorage airport. (This marks the only time I have ever become “unstuck in time” like Billy Pilgrim of Vonnegut’s Slaughter-house Five.) I took advantage of probably the last airport in the US to offer free wireless internet and googled Songs Inspired By Literature. This is what I found. (Take some time and explore the site. I think you’ll be surprised by some of artists that apparently read from time to time.)
Since then, I am constantly on the look out for songs to add to my SIBL playlist. I’ve found several that aren’t currently on the list at siblproject.org but I’m sure there are many, many more that I have not found. (Probably because I haven’t quite finished reading every book that’s ever been written.)
For my inaugural SIBL blog, I have chosen “Doomsday Clock” by Smashing Pumpkins. That’s the song that’s been playing while you read this.
The second stanza of “Doomsday Clock”, according to the Zeitgeist insert booklet, is the following:
I love life everyday
In each and every way
Kafka would be proud, to find out
I’m certain of the end
It’s the means that has me spooked
It take’s an unknown truth to get out (sic)
Kafka refers to Franz Kafka. If you don’t know who that is, check Wikipedia, you’ll be an instant expert for a day, or less. (The picture below, courtesy of Wikipedia, will save you a google.)
I have read The Trial and “The Metamorphosis,” which are probably his most well known works. Loved The Trial, hated “The Metamorphosis.”
Both works deal with protagonists who wake up one day and find themselves in the midst of absurd circumstances from which they can not recover. The end becomes more and more ominous and hopeless. In the end, both protagonists die.
Here’s my problem. I’ve no idea where the punctuation is supposed to be in “Doomsday Clock.” Depending on where I decide to put a period or a comma, I could interpret Billy’s lyrical intention in several different ways. I’ve got my opinion, but I could be wrong.
So, here’s your assignment. Read Kafka while listening to “Doomsday Clock” on repeat. Or, if you prefer, while you’re listening to the whole Zeitgeist album. Then, you tell me what you think inspired Billy when he read Kafka.

The Socratic Dilemma, part. 1

Sun, 11 May 2008 00:37:08 -0500

This past weekend I indulged in perhaps my greatest addiction--paying people money for my personal enrichment. When I was in high school, I could not even travel in the same direction as a record store without stopping to see what they had in the used bin. Usually I found what I was looking for. (That’s how I got my hands on a copy of The Aeroplane Flies High boxed set after the initial run had sold out.) If they didn’t have anything good, I would move to the New section. (That’s why I have student loan debt. Let this be a lesson to you kids. Saving is good!)
I gained what I considered a fairly respectable library of music for a high school student and spent innumerable hours enriching, and slightly abusing, my tympanic membranes while I voraciously read everything I could get my hands on, excepting, of course, any book that I was assigned to read for class.
Now that I’ve graduated from college, my ever-increasing music library pales in comparison to my ever-increasing book library. (We just spent $500 on new book shelves that will cover one whole wall in our house. I’m so excited!!) My love of reading and acquiring knowledge increases every day.
Back to this past weekend.
The gravitational pull of our local Border’s only sucked about $100 out of my bank account this time, but, in return, it provided us with several new additions to our library. Among them were The Intellectual Devotional and An Incomplete Education: 3,684 Things You Should Have Learned But Probably Didn’t. Both books essentially promise to increase the breadth of my knowledge so that I may more comfortably engage in conversations with the cultural elite.
Both of these books were impulse buys. “Sure, why not? I like knowledge.” And no one wants to feel like he or she is uncultured simply because of an informational gap that apparently should have been plugged, but probably wasn’t. Upon getting these books home, however, and spending some admittedly less-than-quality time with the books, I could not help but feel the stab of dilettantish guilt for my purchase.
While both books provide a wealth of information and most certainly are useful, (and I know I will secretly refer to them from time to time, but I’ll never admit it again), the fundamental problem with these works is that they only offer second-hand, superficial accounts about the topics they provide. Nothing in depth, nothing I couldn’t find at Wikipedia, nothing that will legitimately stimulate my cerebral facilities.
Instead, I will gain a very broad and very shallow overview of the topic upon which I will certainly base a number of poorly thought out opinions and dissimilate plenty of misinterpreted and misunderstood information to those with whom I come in contact, all the while hiding behind the presumption that I have gained these insights for myself through extensive study and arduous contemplation.
Hopefully, I will run into a few people who know better and call me out on my BS. Unfortunately, I never meet enough of those people.
The problem is that in our digital age, we never take the time to diligently and thoroughly acquire knowledge, to assimilate its meaning and critically interpret its implications. I know this idea is nothing new. Every informational advancement (i.e. language, alphabet, printing, audiovisual, internet) has brought with it concerns as to how information is acquired, managed, assimilated, dissimilated, interpreted, utilized, stigmatized, canonized, and abused. Socrates also feared this.
The irony of this blog entry is that when I was seeking an image of Socrates, the first place I looked was Wikipedia. Quick, easily discarded information accessible to anyone at anytime from anywhere on the iPhones we all secretly or overtly wish we had.
More later...

How to be a Literate Rocker

Sun, 4 May 2008 22:56:26 -0500

When I was an undergraduate student studying Comparative Literature, I often received puzzled looks when I would tell people about my chosen course of study. “What are you going to do with that?”
At this point I would usually get slightly, yet uncomfortably, defensive. “What the hell do you care?” I would reply inaudibly, perhaps with an icy stare that not only betrayed my indignation at their tactless stupidity, but also, unfortunately, the shame I felt at the realization that I had less of an idea than they did about what I would do once I finished school. (So far, I’ve ended up teaching High School and will therefore be going to hell since I swore on any and everything considered even remotely holy that I would never be a teacher. I’ll send you a postcard if you send me your address.)
“There are a lot of things I can do, such as law school, med school, go into publishing, etc...” Or, if I was feeling annoyed or ornery, I’d respond with a terse “Whatever I want to do.” In quiet moments in which I allowed myself to be honest with myself, I had to admit only one legitimate answer--”Read, I guess.”
Of course, I should have responded with “Join a multiple Grammy-winning alternative rock band that just happens to be one of my favorite bands and play many of my favorite songs every night as I tour the world with them.” I thought about saying that once, but my resolve failed me and I probably just said something stupid like “your mom” and then ran off to some corner to compose a poem about how insensitive engineering students can be with their clear-cut employment prospects and the security that comes from an almost guaranteed higher income bracket than that which I might remotely hope to attain as a “reader.”
Several years later, Jeff Schroeder is living my dream. So much for lost opportunities.
And not only is he living my dream, playing with my favorite band, The Smashing Pumpkins, but he’s also finishing his PhD in Comparative Literature at UCLA. Seriously, this guy catches all the breaks.
I’ll admit that I’m biased but I strongly believe that literacy is the cure all for all of the world’s problems. All of them. Including body odor.
Reading, as anyone reading this is aware, exposes us to new and varied ideas and offers our brains the potential to expand their knowledge base and helps us to critically consider the information we assimilate. It also helps us attract a better-looking mate. (I have no proof to support the previous statement, but it makes sense to me.)
In a recent interview with Gibson guitars, Jeff spoke about his love for literature and music, with which I very strongly sympathize. “To me it is all art. As cheesy as it may sound, but if you read a good article, or see a good film, it may inspire your music or inspire to write a song. Or read a good book and write a good poem. (sic)”
This is the real reason I decided to study Comparative Literature. Those who went before us will inspire and teach us if we seek them out and let them. And the broader the inspirational base, the better.